Tea and Verses
Tea and Verses

Episode 2 · 1 year ago

Episode 2: What is Love?


Second episode of Tea and Verses. We are exploring love and what it means.

Co-hosts: Valiety Jaye and Phillip Barea

Phillip's books are available at Barnes & Noble:

Wa helnow everyone its like Jan welcometot and Verso a my Ta, an my love Mork, which is the topic of today's episode.But before I sawt that I want to let everyone know. That's listening to uson classic four seven to come over to youtube like a subscribe, watch us andsee us and put on the notifications. So you don't miss any of the shows. Sowithating said I guess we'll get this topic, so love Wat. I think about love all right so soon enough wit, Tus, likeI sai, know that I am pretty unusual. So love for me is that like love wouldbe for most, and I explain that quickly. My saying that I really don'tsee Bove as a general word, I see love as categories and actually read this and killel Jim. I actually the way the Buddhist see,love and Theyi in four elements and for tiffer elements that create move and the one elemet that I like the mostwas the one called freedom and I find that in relationships. There is not alot of freedom, and that was one of my biggest issues to be in a relationship where love isclaimed, but not as not actually sho and also I daid a lot of studying withthe great way of or the Greeks version of love, and I really really came to understand that one betr aboutactually more so to me and I'm poing tojist read Giv a different wints. Okay, so theyhave arof in Lokwe, Sooffy a pronouncingcorrectly or close and Amos is a Omantic or passionatelove, and then we have Felia an affectionate love and then there's a gopy. Now I knowthat a lot of religious people tend to at least now agapy, but I don't think they cn...

...understand a topic. I copy love is aselfless Universal Lov and I'm not sure anybody really knows what that means. I think we say we do and we might think we do, but I don'treally think that we do. I think that that type of love is not even experience here on this planet. I thinkthis love, you can only experience, went backward source. I think it's alove that we came from and were trying to find out way back to, but it's not here it', my opinion, but that's how I feel and then there'sstart game. I want to say it that way, and this isa familiar love and then they have Manan s probablymania, but I'm going to say mania and that's an obsessive love and then Lunas, which is my favoriteone, because it's a playfuller like Av thirty love I like that one and thenpragma and enduring love and then Philosha, which is a selflove,and I think that was it's one, that we really should talk about. The love ofself, I think, is rare. I think everybody isrunning around looking for someone to love them and looking for someone to love, but not taking any time to lovethemselves, and I think it's so necessary to love yourself an order tolove someone else. I think we think we're loving, but I find that a lot oflove, especially in relationships thit's, extremely controlling you, com, O with all these expectationsof well. You know I love you, so you have to do this this that and the otherfor me, or you can't do certain things that I don't like. There's no freedomof that SA got a relationship is on cleans to love you, but you don'tfeel free to be yourself or you don't feel free to do what you like. I thinkthere might be a problem with that type of love. That's not a typ of Lome thatI want to have anything to do with an my personal experience. That was ahuge issue, and so I had to remove myself from the situation and now Ifeel free. I knowin should be in a situation because it doesn'tnecessarily have to be with omativ parter. They can be affamling them. It can be a neighbor type love. I mean thesecategories of love kind of Hit, all...

...types of thing: it's like the love for your pet. It's not goingto be the same as e love for your neighbor or the left for your husband May tnot bethe same tils O for your kids they're. Just we love differently and I don'tthink that there's a general word that just covers all types of love. So whensomeone asks do you love me, you say yes because at the moment it'sa feeling like with me. I don't really believe in love. In my personal experience I feel like Ican like your lat. I can like Yiu very vit very much, but that's as far asit's going to go. I don't know about this love things. I don't think I meanreally really truly know what love is. Love can be obsessive, controlling and some people just become attached to a person and they feel like they lovethat person. But it's something else. It's something deeper and I think thatwe should take time to look at and explore what love really is because Idon't think that we really know what that is. I think that we go by afeeling and the way the Buddhist explained it was it's feeling not about the feeling. It's about. Okay, for example. What's that Sayn? Ifyou love something, let it go and if it comes back it was. You wants to beginwith, or something like that if it doesn't come back, it wasn't asto begin with. Well I that sounds like ownership to me.However, I get it a little because it's like, if you really love something you willlet it be. You won't try to change what it is. So I'm not sure that that's exactlywhat we're doing that. We're loving someone ithink, it's just somethingdifferent. I think. Maybe we grew up that way. We woul Taut or we imaginethat that's what it is. I'm not really sure if I agree of that's love and then so what is op anyway, jusanybody have anybody anyway, I mean to be really love and what does that mean and wants thelast time you loved yourself. Now is AAnother thing loving yourself and what is that m? Soit took me a little while- and I know that I had to go with in and figurethings out about myself and that's why I went into the study about love to seebecause I felt like I did it love. I cared about people, but this lofty...

I didn't get it. I didn't understand itand I didn't feel like I needed it, so I studyd itucket it. Why is it thateverybody is toling this word about and not feeling it? So I studied it. That's what I found theReek Waya bit and then I put this Litte Shit Lo booxing and I realize that it was really important for me to justfocus on lovving myself first and now worry about. Why can't loveanyone or anything else and like I said it, wasn't that I di well, maybe Ididn't love in the way we've been taught. I can really care about someone.I can empathize with people, and I can like you a lot UTI'm, not sure. If I know what love isto say that I love you so I had to go within, and so what doesthat mean to love yourself? Everybody thinks they love themselves. Oh yeah,like the way I dress. Oh, I like the way. I look like the way hop. Has thatreally loving yourself? What I found and I'm not completely Comi'm, notcompletely finished with MYC research. However, what I've come to so far is that whenyou love yourself, you don't let op is mistreat you and I found that I was allowing at least one person to talk to me acertain way that I should have allowed and that's what I realized. I'm notloving myself, because if I loved myself I wouldn'tallow that and then I had to go in and go whereels. Am I not loving myself? What am I doing? That is not allowing me or whatam I not doing us, not n either Lov myself and I believe them when I get throughthis. When I really understand this and startputting into practice, then I'm probably going to find Ade Tis much oflove where I could share with someone else and tell them I'm not going to use the word, becauseif I'm not sure what it means I' Lik GOINGTO say it. I think we havea huge problem with just using words that we've been taught that we've grown up to say, and we don't really know whatwe're saying I mean shish. Let's use the word governmentjust for a Sep. Let's break that one down covern control met,...

...mind whoo did I say that well I'll.Leave that one there, but that's not the only word that we need to learn howto break down and learn how to not just meet these things. If we don'tknow what we're saying I mean, I'm sure we said it I'cait it to my kids. F, youdon't know what that word means. You don't need to be saying it. Neither do we we're adults. Maybe weshould think first before we speak words, and I think love is a word thatis spoken so loosely anexpected to be heard. People expect to hear that word. Do youlove me? The question is uone of myself. I think I'm gonna leave it there. I think I ramfoled enough and I got at least one chance to drinkmy team, so yeah. I think we should think about what wesay. Oh really, how we feel I'm going to say something else. Irecall and my relationship being told I love you. You know before you hang upthe phone on before you leave just witouit and I remember saying I love you too, but I said it because it was expected because in the beginning I was Sayg metoo. I love you and I'd say me too, and thatbothered the person. So I had to start saying I love you too.I don't think I've ever felt that I know it. I know I I feelit I was justrepeating it just saying it said that the other person would feel better about themselves. I feel good atthe moment, whatever reason to avoid a issue, an argument or whatever that's who I said it, but I didn't meanit so many times. Do we say it and don'tmean it? How many times do we say it and wedon't even understand what it truly means to e love, someone something somebody. So I am going to pass it over the film and let's see what he has to say aboutit. Thank you for listening. Remember olike subscribe hit, then ovacation, Balla Ol, that we can remind you when we're on and II'll seeyou guys next time for the next topic. Who knows what that'll be in now bi yhello everybody welcome to anothersegment of Tan versus this is Philip of...

...courts, and today we're talking about what is love. I hope you enjoyed valiety sectionabout this topic because she's explored it quite abit. So what is love is a big issue for her and it's for me as well, and itshould be for everybody, it's a very important question, but I want to start by reading a poemlike I did last week. This poem is entitled to Sense Beyond Chocolate: Silk Skin on mine, Vanilla,milk, contrast, inner twine, coconut oil, shine, you smell of roses, feedingmy eye filling my nose every curve, an exploration, everysmile, your invitation, I am consumed. You take me home myflower, bloomed feeding, my soul. All that I am is made new a better manbecause of you, your breast, my refuge, the only rest inside you, woman,defined beyond words for Ever Mine Eternally Yours. Thank you for listening to that. I know that love is a topic, that'smultifacited! It can be romantic love, it can be love betweensiblings, parent and child friends. Strangers love your neighbor, that's also a valid perspective, but inthis episode I'd like to focus on romantic love, because I think that's really the big issue for a lot ofpeople. From my part, I would say that oursociety is a little lopsided in the balance of love, because we focus waytoo much on the physical and the sexual, which are very important. I mean we arephysical, sexual begings, that's life, but there's a whole other sign to it. Thereis a emotional, psychological and soulful sid. So when I talk about love, I'm talking about whole love, not just the sex, not just the physicalappearance, but the soul, the character, the real feeling between two people, that's ultimately important... is a foundation for everything foundation for family, for society onthe individual level is a foundation for individual identity. A lot of USdefine ourselves according to WHO loves US and who we love, and that's. Okay, that's great! You know if you're going to defyyourself by something might as well define yourself by love, which is sucha wonderful thing, so never be ashamed or afraid to speakof love, to show love to expect Lon. I thinkthat's really ultimately important without love, I don't think we couldfunction as human beings. I think it would be very hard to function as a human being withoutlove and, if you don't know how to experience, love or how to give love work on it. I think that's somethingyou need to work on if youare really interested in self improvement start with self love- and I don't meanselfishness, I mean loving yourself so that you take care of yourself so thatyou develop yourself so that you have the ability to love someone else and take it from there, and I think love ends up being a really good habit and once you get into it, you don'twant to get out of it. You know, because there is nothing more exhilarating thanlove I'll give you an example: I've been sky diving before and after you sky dive. If you get ahuge adrennaling rush and you feel awesome, love is better than that. Love is bigger than that, and I encourage everybody to try andexperience that look for that. Don't get stuck in the physical and thesexual. THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! You know there needs to be more thanthat and as far as choosing a partner orfinding that person, you love, don't let society to find that for you,don't let other people define that. Why? Because they're, only going to look atwhat that person looks like they're only going to look at what Ginder, thatperson is and those are physical things and what you need, at least for my perspective, is someonewho loves you back... honestly and as soulfully as youlove them, and each one of you cares about theother more than you care about yourself. That's the important part, so race doesn't matter. Physical appearance doesn't matter,gender doesn't matter, love is love and that's a beautiful thing. That's awonderful thing. We cannot succeed as individuals as asociety as a culture without love, we need to celebrate it. It's okay,it's okay! To talk about love, it's okay, to encourage love, it's okay torecognize others that are in love and celebrate them. That's a good thing! So, going back to the question of what isLove, love is the most important humanexperience. Nothing you ever do in your life will be more important than love. I don't care who you are to give you a parents perspective,because I'm a parent. I've often said that the closest ha human being can get tounderstand. In God an God's love is to be apparent. You will never know, love like you will as a parent. That is themost mind. Boggling amazing thing, and it's not easy. Love is never easyon any level, but it's worth it and, as I said before,it is the most important human experience. That's why we're talking about t? That's why I get so passionate about it. You know, like any poet, a lot of mypoems are about love. You read my books, there's a lot of love in there. Why? Because it's that important, it'sthat fundamental to who we are as people. You can't be human without love, it'simpossible. So if I had to give you some takeawaysfrom this episode, it is that love is important and you should encourage it. You shouldlook for it and you should give it give some love. Okay, as I said last week, and I mean itagain,...

I love you guys and I want you guys tolove each other. If somebody wants to show some love, my way, Hey I'll, takeit but really love each other, and I loveyou. Even if I don't know you and God bless- and I will see you next week have a good week. Everybody Y.

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