Tea and Verses
Tea and Verses

Episode 2 · 1 year ago

Episode 2: What is Love?


Second episode of Tea and Verses. We are exploring love and what it means.

Co-hosts: Valiety Jaye and Phillip Barea

Phillip's books are available at Barnes & Noble:

What's? Hello everyone, it's likeJay, and welcome to tea and verses. I my tea and my Love Mook, which is the topic of today's episode. But before I start that, I want to let everyone know that's listening to us on classic fall sevento come over to youtube like a subscribe, watch us and see us, andI'm put on the notification for you. Don't miss any of the shows.So, with that being said, I guess we'll hit this topic.So love, I think about love. M All right, so soon enough, you guys look at to know that I am pretty unusual. So lovefor me is not like love would be foremost, and I'll explain that quicklyby saying that I really don't see love as a general word. I seelove as categories, and I've actually read this and kilttle gem. That's actuallythe way the Buddhists see love and they see it in four elements and it'sfor different elements that create love. And the one element that I like themost was the one called freedom, and I find that in relationships there isnot a lot of freedom, and that was one of my biggest issues,to be in a relationship where love is claimed but not as not actually shown. And also I did a lot of studying with the Greek way of love, or the Greek's version of love, and I really really came to understandthat one better. That one actually more suits me, and I'm going tojust read hear the different ones. Okay, so they have arrows and I'm notGreek, so hopefully I pronounced the correctly or close and Arrolsis of romanticor passionate love. And then we have Phelia, an affectionate love, andthen there are I got PA. Now I know that a lot of religiouspeople tend to at least know a Goty,...

...but I don't think they understand thatgot PA, got pay love is a selfless, universal love and I'mnot sure anybody really knows what that needs. I think we say we do,and we might think we do, but I don't really think that wedo. I think that that type of love is not even experienced here onthis planet. I think this love you can only experience went backwards source.I think it's a love that we came from and we're trying to find ourway back to, but it's not here, my opinion, but that's how Ifeel. And then there's story gating, I want to say it that way, and this is a familiar love. And then they have mania's probably mania, but I'm going to say mania, and that's an obsessive love. Andthen Ludis, which is my favorite one because it's a playful of likea dirty love. I like that one, and then Programa and enduring love,and then Philupshia, which is a self love, and I think thatone is one that we really should talk about. The love of self.I think it is rare. I think everybody is running around looking for someoneto love them and looking for someone to love but not taking any time tolove themselves. And I think it's so necessary to love yourself in order tolove someone else. I think we think we're loving, but I find thata lot of love, especially in relationships, there it's extremely controlling. You comein with all these expectations of well, you know, I love you,so you have to do this, this, that and the other forme, or you can do certain things that I don't like, and there'sno freedom in that. So if you're a relationship, as someone claims tolove you, but you don't feel free to be yourself or you don't feelfree to do what you like. I think there might be a problem withthat type of love. That's not a type of of that I want tohave anything to do with. In my personal experience that was a huge issueand so I had to remove myself from the situation and now I feel free. No one should be in a situation because it doesn't necessarily have to bewith romantic partner. They could be a family member, it can be aneighbor type love. I mean these categories of love kind of hit all typesof things, like the love for your... It's not going to bethe same as the love for your neighbor, or the love for your husband maynot be the same as the love for your kids. They're just welove differently and I don't think that there's a general word that just covers alltypes of love. So when someone asks do you love me, you sayyes because at the moment it's a feeling. Like with me, I don't reallybelieve in love. In my personal experience I feel like I could likeyou a lot, I can like you very, very very much, butthat's as far as it's going to go. I don't know about this love things. I don't think that you really really truly know what love is.Love can be obsessive, controlling and some people just become attached to a personand they feel like they love that person. But it's something else, it's somethingdeeper, and I think that we should to take time to look atand explore what love really is, because I don't think that we really knowwhat that is. I think that we go by a feeling and the waythe Buddhist explained it was it's really not about the feeling, it's about okay, for example, what's that saying? If you love something, let itgo and if it comes back, it was yours to begin with, orsomething like that, or if it doesn't come back, it wasn't it tobegin with. Well, I that sounds like ownership to me. However,I get it a little, because it's like, if you really love something, you will let it be, you won't try to change what it is. So I'm not sure that that's exactly what we're doing, that we're lovingsomeone. I think it's just something different. I think maybe we grew up thatway and we were taught or we imagine that that's what it is.I'm not really sure if I agree that that's love. And then, sowhat is love? Anyway? To say anybody love anybody anyway. I mean, so we really love? And what does that mean? And when wasthe last time you love yourself? Now that's another thing, loving yourself,and what does that mean? So it took me a little while and Iknew that I had to go within to figure things out about myself, andthat's why I went into the study about love to see, because I feltlike I did it love, I cared about people, but this love thing, I didn't get it, I didn't...

...understand it and I feel like Ineeded it. So I studied, I started it. Why is it thateverybody is doing this word around and not feeling it? So I studied it. That's when I found the Greek way of it, and then I putthis a little low book thing and I realize that it was really important forme to just focus on loving myself first and not worry about why I can'tlove anyone or anything else. And, like I said, it wasn't thatI didn't well, maybe I didn't love in the way we've been taught.I can really care about someone, I can empathize with people and I can, like you, a lot, but I'm not sure if I know whatlove is. To See that I love you, so I had to gowith it. And so what does that mean to love yourself? Everybody thinksthey love themselves. Oh, oh, yeah, like the way I justOh, I like the way I love, like the way I talk. HasNot really loving yourself. What I found, and I'm not completely complete, I'm not completely finished with my research. However, what I've come to sofar is that when you love yourself, you don't let others mystat you andI found that I was allowing at least one person to talk to mea certain way that I shouldn't have allowed, and that's when I realized I'm notloving myself, because if I loved myself, I would allow that.And then I had to go in and go where else am I not lovingmyself? What am I doing that is not allowing me? Or what amI not doing that's not allowing me to love myself? And I believe them. When I get through this, when I really understand this and start puttingit to practice, then I'm probably going to find at least this much oflove where I could share with someone else. Until then, I'm not going touse the word because if I'm not sure what it means, I'm notgoing to say it. I think we have a huge problem with just usingwords that we've been taught, that we've grown up to say, and wedon't really know what we're saying. I mean, she'sh less use the wordgovernment just for a second. Let's break that one down. Govern control meantmind. Whoo, did I say that?...

Well, I'll leave that one there, but that's not the only word that we need to learn how tobreak down and learn how to not just meet these things if we don't knowwhat we're saying. I mean, I'm sure you said it. I've saidit to my kids. You don't know what that word means. You don'tneed to be saying it. Neither do we. We're adults. Maybe weshould think for us before we speak words. And I think love is a wordthat is spoken so loosely and expected to be heard. People expect tohear that word. Do you love me? The question is, do I lovemyself first? So I think I'm going to leave it there. Ithink I rambled enough and I got at least one chance to drink my team. So yeah, I think we should think about what we say or reallyhow we feel. I'm going to say something else. I recall and myrelationship being told I love you, you know, before you hang up thephone or before you leave or just for the hell of it, and Iremember saying I love you too, but I said it because it was expected, because in the beginning I would say me too, I love you,and I'd say me too, and I bothered the person so I had tostart saying I love you too. I don't think I've ever felt that.I know it. I know I didn't feel it. I was just repeatingit, just saying it so that the other person would feel better about themselves, feel good at the moment, whatever reason, to avoid a issue andargument or whatever. And so I said it, but I didn't mean it. So many times do we say it and don't mean it? How manytimes do we say it and we don't even understand what it truly means?True love someone something, somebody. So I am going to as it overthe Phil and I see what he has to say about it. Thank youfor listening. Remember to like, subscribe hit the Notti vacation Ballas so thatwe can be mind you and now see you guys next time for the nexttopic. Who knows what that'll be, you know by hello, everybody,welcome to another segment of tea and versus.

This is Philip, of course,and today we're talking about what is love. I hope you enjoyed valietiessection about this topic, because she's explored it quite a bit. So whatis love is a big issue for her and it's for me as well,and it should be for everybody. It's a very important question. But Iwant to start by reading a poem, like I did last week. Thispoem is entitled a Sense Beyond Chocolate Silk Skin on mine, Vanilla milk contrastsintertwine, coconut oil, shine. you smell of robes, feeding my eye, filling my nose. Every curve and exploration, every smile, your invitation. I am consumed. You take me whole, my flower bloom, feedingmy soul. All that I am is made new, a better man becauseof you. Your breast, my refuge, the only rest inside you, womandefined beyond words, forever, mind, eternally yours. Thank you for listeningto that. I know that love is a topic that's multifaceted. Itcan be romantic love. It can be loved between Siblings, parent and Child, friends, strangers, love your neighbor. That's also a valid perspective, butin this episode I'd like to focus on romantic love because I think that'sreally the big issue for a lot of people. From my part, Iwould say that our society is a little lopsided in the balance of love becausewe focus way too much on the physical and the sexual, which are veryimportant. I mean, we are physical, sexual beings. That's life, butthere's a whole other side to it. There is a emotional, psychological andsoulful side. So when I talk about love, I'm talking about wholelove, not just the sex, not just the physical appearance, but thesoul, the character, the real feeling between two people. That's ultimately important. Love is a foundation for everything,...

Foundation for family, for society.On the individual level, it's a foundation for individual identity. A lot ofUS define ourselves according to WHO loves US and who we love, and that'sokay, that's great. You know, if you're going to define yourself bysomething, might as well define yourself by love, which is such a wonderfulthing. So never be ashamed or afraid to speak of love, to showlove, to expect love. I think that's really ultimately important. Without love, I don't think we could function as human beings. I think it wouldbe very hard to function as a human being without love. And if youdon't know how to experience love or how to give love, work on it. I think that's something you need to work on. If you're really interestedin self improvement, start with self love, and I don't mean selfishness, Imean loving yourself so that you take care of yourself, so that youdevelop yourself, so that you have the ability to love someone else and takeit from there. And I think love ends up being a really good habitand once you get into it, you don't want to get out of it, you know, because there is nothing more exhilarating than love. I'll giveyou an example. I've been skydiving before and after you skydive you get ourhuge adrenaline Russian you feel awesome. Love is better than that, love isbigger than that, and I encourage everybody to try and experience that. Lookfor that. Don't get stuck in the physical and the sexual. That's notenough, you know, there needs to be more than that and as faras choosing a partner or finding that person you love. Don't let society definethat for you. Don't let other people define that. Why? Because they'reonly going to look at what that person looks like, they're only going tolook at what gender that person is, and those are physical things and whatyou need, at least from my perspective, is someone who loves you back ashonestly and as soulfully as you love...

...them, and each one of youcares about the other more than you care about yourself. That's the important part. So race doesn't matter, physical appearance doesn't matter, gender doesn't matter.Love is love and that's a beautiful thing. That's a wonderful thing. We cannotsucceed as individuals, as a society, as a culture without love. Weneed to celebrate it. It's okay. It's okay to talk about love.Of It's okay to encourage love, it's okay to recognize others that arein love and celebrate them. That's a good thing. So, going backto the question of what is Love, love is the most important human experience. Nothing you ever do in your life will be more important than love.I don't care who you are to give you a parents perspective, because I'ma parent. I've often said that the closest a human being can get tounderstanding God and God's love is to be a parent. You will never knowlove like you will as a parent. That is the most mindboggling, amazingthing, and it's not easy. Love is never easy on any level,but it's worth it and, as I said before, it is the mostimportant human experience. That's why we're talking about that's why I get so passionateabout it. You know, like any poet, a lot of my poemsare about love. You read my books, there's a lot of love in there. Why? Because it's that important, it's that fundamental to who we are. Is People. You can't be human without love. It's impossible.So if I had to give you some takeaways from this episode, it isthat love is important and you should encourage it, you should look for itand you should give it. Give some love. Okay, as I saidlast week, and I mean it again, I love you guys and I wantyou guys to love each other.

If somebody wants to show some lovemy way, Hey, I'll take it, but really love each other and Ilove you, even if I don't know you, and God bless andI will see you next week. Have a good week, everybody,.

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